Being a mother has never been always easy. From the first day we conceived our children to the very last day we die and is separated from our child. My mother was right, when she told that I will only understand her once I become like her. And she was totally right. And God knows I miss her so.
I have gone trough many trials in my life. My failed marriage is a good example to show what are the challenges and trials I have been through. But I am not here to talk about that. I am here to talk about and share with my experiences as a mother and how precious these experiences are. And I hope that it will touch other mothers and inspire them when they read this blog.
Out of that marriage, one thing I never regret was producing two wonderful boys. Bruce is 12 and Santiago is turning 5 this Saturday. Bruce is more than perfect and has all the traits a mother would ask of her son. He is sweet, sensitive, responsible, respects and loves me a lot. As he wrote in his homework when they were asked to paste a family photo and describe their family. He said that though my parents are separated we are happy living in an apartment with my mom and little brother. That really pinched my heart. My greatest frustration as mother was making their father stay.
I can count and recall all the challenges in my life as I keep them all in my heart and sometimes may learn from the past and sometimes the memory of surviving pass then reminds me to always be strong.
my 12- year old lad Bruce
I have been told by many that I am so blessed having Bruce. I may not have been lucky having a spouse but it seems I may be lucky having a son in Bruce.
I am so much blessed that during the darkest and the rockiest part of my marriage, God gave me Joaquin Santiago. He came when I was already on hypertension maintenance. If I miss taking one pill and my blood pressure shoots up. The moment that I saw the pink lines the very first thing that came into my mind is the doctor asking my husband to sign a waiver and choosing whom should they save, the mother or the son. I prayed that horrible scene would never happen. But I can’t take abortion as an option. My heart doctor then replaced my maintenance med with a low dosage good for pregnant women and regular blood pressure check. Just in case it shoots up on the low dosage. I was fine with the new med. Then I was asked to totally stop taking the med but would need to check my blood pressure twice a day and if it does shoot one bit I should pop in one in my mouth right away. I remember my OB-Gynecologist told me that the baby would either cure me from it or make it worse. That is why we are labelled as women with high-risk pregnancies.
Miraculously, two weeks passed by and my blood pressure never went up. So, I was free from maintenance medicine. Thanks to the miracle in my womb.
Finally, on the 28th of July in 2007 Joaquin Santiago was born.
my Joaquin Santiago less than a week old
We fondly call him Santi. Santi grew up to become a very sweet child. Through the years, the people around him have always been worried about his speech delay. I was never alarmed because my eldest was also delayed in speech. He started to speak around 4.5 years old. So, I know time will come for Santi and he would speak. Actually, he can speak but he whispers them and he does this only to either me or his big brother. I just shrugged it off that maybe because he is a Leo by birth he is just unusual.
Until the summer of 2012 came. It’s time for his summer for school preparation. I usually send my kids to this summer program preparing the toddlers to school. My eldest had the same program and after being evaluated he jumped to Kinder level. My kids are smart and I was that confident that my Santi will be doing the same.
my 4-year old preschooler
Until one day when I got a call from the school’s Directress. It was the day I most feared. I am a strong person/mother/human being whatever, but this confirmation has to be the scariest moment of my life.
(To be continued on the next post…)